19 years
by ForceMage56
Summary: An AU squeal to dantesdarkqueen's Behind Closed Doors. Sienna returns to Starkhaven on her 19th birthday in search of the location of her parent's graves as well as the monster that killed them. Will she be able to come to terms with what she finds? Or will she loose herself to the Vengeance she holds in her heart.
1. Return

_A/N After I read Behind Closed Doors I couldn't stop thinking about what would happen to Sienna, and what kind of person she would become. After about a month of spouting ideas at my sister she convinced me to start writing it all down and this chapter practicably wrote itself. A million thanks to dantesdarkqueen for letting me use Aria and Sienna. This is just my take on things, strictly AU. Enjoy ;)  
_

_Bioware owns the sand box and dantesdarkqueen owns the toys, I'm just borrowing them._

* * *

_Who is the betrayer?_

_Who's the killer in the crowd?_

_The one who creeps in corridors_

_and doesn't make a sound._

_Florence + the Machine, Heavy in your arms._

It's my 19th birthday, 19 years to the day since my parents died.

19 years since Anders cut me from Aria's body and Fenris spirited me away from her killer.

19 years since I was last in the borders of Starkhaven and now I see the city's looming walls.

My name is Sienna and I have returned.

* * *

I never thought I would get this far undetected and yet here I am, standing right outside the city walls. I squinted up at the top of the ramparts over the main gate. Three flags rested there, whipping around in the wind. The middle one was Starkhaven's official flag and on it's right was the flag for the Free Marches. It was the one on the left that made me suppress are growl. The flag bore the symbol of the Divine, rarely used these day's thanks to dissolution of the Nevarran Accord and the start of the Mage-Templar war. Few leaders would risk supporting the now powerless chantry. Especially after many people blame the Divine for not preventing the war, even more so since it's still raging after more than twenty years.

_Not that they did anything useful when they were in power._ I thought grimly. _You systemically use and exploit a group of people for the better part of 900 years and you expect them to just lie down and take it? Blind overzealous fools._

There's a reason I fight for Mages, and it's not just because my parents were once among them. I sighed resting my hand on my hip, now all I had to do was enter the city undetected. This was going to be interesting.

I glanced down at my armor, I didn't want to be recognized when I got into the city. Not yet at least. I wore a hood that covered my long bright red hair and most of my face, a defense against being recognized as my mother's daughter. I was in my black light armor; it would help to stop anyone with sticky fingers whom I would encounter in the streets. My hood was my only protection against the onslaught of wind that seemed content to gather up all the bits from the fields and turn them into projectiles. The wind whipped around my legs allowing a moment for me to appreciate the fact that I wore black leather pants instead of that skirt that went with most leather armor. I was just as fond of my vest, a sturdy garment that protected my neck and torso but left my scarred arms in full view. I rolled my shoulders, readjusting my sword that was strapped to my back. I reached up with my good hand and felt the familiar hilt, my finger-less gloves allowing me to feel the leather grip and the base of the metal. I would always be holding Justice if I could but social norms dictated that she must stay in her scabbard when I wasn't in immediate danger. Funny thing is I'm always in danger. Luckily my training with Fenris taught me how to unsheathe her at a moment's notice so the extra seconds weren't too bad.

I passed through the city gates without much trouble. Other than a guard looking over my equipment, the giant sword on my back to be precise, and telling me that he would be watching me. Why is it always me? I glanced at the map I had brought with me and plotted the quickest way to the Royal archives and after that the Royal palace. I had a family friend to visit. Well, Justice did.

* * *

I entered the archives and a wizened scholar with robes that identified him as the royal archivist looked up at me from the tome he was reading.

"May I help you young lady?"

"I'm looking from a tome on the events 19 years ago; do you know where it is?"

"Of course right this way, what brings you to Starkhaven?" he asked as he led me through the stacks.

"How do you know I'm not from Starkhaven?"

He laughed at that "Not many mercenaries come to Starkhaven; Prince Sebastian made his opinion quite clear about the profession after his family was killed. Makes me wonder what a young women like yourself is doing chancing the displeasure of the Prince, ah here we are"

He pulled a heavy tome from the shelf and set it on a nearby table. I swallowed my response about what I **would** be willing to chance if my initial suspicion was correct and opened the tome.

I skimmed down the index till I found my birth month and flipped to that section. It took me a minute to sift through all of the entries until I found what I was looking for. The table strained when my fingers froze on the wood as I read the words that were calmly noting my parents capture, sentences, and imprisonment. There was nothing about their escape and worse, nothing about where they fell.

I closed my eyes and bent over the book and focused on the feeling of my fingers biting into the wood.

_So ashamed of what you had done that you wish is removed from history my prince? You can remove the words from a page but I'm still here, you can't get rid of me. You will NEVER destroy Aria's legacy the way you sought to destroy her._ I thought bitterly as I recalled her sentence of Tranquility.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I glanced up in surprise at the old man whose sad smile wafted down at me. He brushed a hair out of my eyes and I realized that my hood had fallen back.

"Horrible isn't it, a sad tale of misplaced rage and revenge that cost everyone in the end. Though I never thought a mercenary would be interested in a tragedy that happened 19 years ago, 19 years to the day in fact." He commented as he sat in the chair next to me, looking into my eyes with the endless wisdom that only comes through age and pain. It might have been comforting except that his knowing smile made him look like the cat that had caught the canary.

"I never thought I'd ever meet you."

I closed the tome and shifted in my chair so I was facing him, I eyed him warily not knowing what to expect. "You know who I am?"

"I always knew that you'd be back." He tilted his head thoughtfully. "You look so much like your mother, the same look in your eyes too."

I blinked in surprise I knew that my parent's descriptions had been widely circulated but not to that detail. "You saw her?"

"I was the attending scribe during your parent's sentencing." He sighed closing his eyes, when he opened them again they were filled with grief. "The memory of her begging for your father's life will haunt me for the rest my life, she was so determined to save him." He sighed again moving over to his desk and began rifling through the drawers. "While our fair Prince was quite determined to see them both dead or worse." His mouth twisting into a grimace at the end.

He pulled out a key and moved to the back of the archives and unlocked the back room that held the classified documents and motioned for me to follow him.

"Prince Sebastian was adamant about keeping the specifics out of the common records, he didn't want Mage fanatics setting up a shrine or Templar fanatics defiling where they fell." He pulled a small tome off the shelf and handed it to me.

"These are the records of the Templar's debriefing and Prince Sebastian's personal recall of the events, the only way to know where they died is to look in his personal records which he keeps locked up in the palace."

I flipped through the pages confirming his description and glanced back at him.

"Why are you helping me? I mean don't think I'm not grateful but I was sure the second I was recognized I would be apprehended or worse."

He gave me a sad smile and led me out of the classified records, "Because during the sentencing I never once spoke up, I could have said something but I didn't and it has haunted me ever since. I didn't think they deserved to die; the man that destroyed the Chantry in Kirkwall was not the man that dragged before the Prince and sentenced to death. They were sentenced purely out of vengeance and rage, not justice. I knew it was wrong and didn't say anything to stop it. Maybe helping their daughter will help to right the wrong I did them. Maybe it won't, but I refuse to do nothing again."

I couldn't help my eyes tearing up, call me sentimental but knowing that not all of Starkhaven wanted my parents dead, and me with them, was a relief.

"Thank you, I'm sure they'd understand and judging from what I've heard about my mother you would already be forgiven."

He seemed to have a great weight removed from his shoulders, standing a little taller. "You have no idea what that means to me. Feel free to look over that book; I'll make sure you aren't disturbed."

I thanked him and found a secluded part of the archives to read.

* * *

_You'll not unleash a demon upon this world, elf!_

_Too late for me. Save the baby. Please._

_I won't let that happen! You'll never touch my daughter! She will always be safe from you!_

_Our baby... Sienna... love you both... so much..._

_ARIA!_

I jerked awake, Anders' tortured scream still echoing through my mind. The book of records fell from my lap as I barely stopped myself from falling out of the chair. I groaned and rested my head in my hands. I had been having that same dream for the better part of two years, ever since Fenris and I did that job to rescue some noble's son from a blood mage cult. In desperation their leader had let loose a pulse of magic to stop Fenris from killing her. The magic got past his defenses and into his memory of Aria and Anders death, trapping us both inside.

When I was 15 Fenris told me what happened to them, but seeing it first hand. I had no words to describe what I felt watching my parents die. I don't think I ever will. We returned back to the present and Fenris finished driving his sword through the maleficar as I collapsed under the weight of my emotions, barley able to move. The flashback had only lasted moments but it left a lasting impression, it's also the reason I came.

I knelt down and picked up the book before walking back towards the front flexing my left hand as I went, it had never fully recovered from being used to stop a Templar sword mid swing when a lieutenant had tried to bash my head in with the hilt, then again neither did the Templar.

I handed the book back to the old man and thanked him for his help. He smiled and wished me on my way. I pulled out my map and grimaced, the only way to the palace was to pass the monastery where the Templar's were housed. I drew up my hood and set out hoping that I wouldn't be recognized, not that I mind fighting Templars but I rather not bring an entire battalion down on me. It might give them hope that numbers would give them a fighting chance. It won't.


	2. Pain

_A/N: Gah! I haven't updated in two months! I'm really sorry it took me so long to write this. __I swear my teachers hate me,_ the second semester of junior year has WAY to much homework. Anyway thank you for bearing with me while I struggle through my epic problem of rewriting everything I just wrote three times and watching way to much of danisnotonfire than is healthy for my writing process, your faith is not misplaced (I hope). This chapter was originally the first part of a really long chapter but I think you guys have waited enough. Enjoy and please review!

_Bioware owns all! dantesdarkqueen owns the ground work, and I own the rest._

* * *

_Pain, without love_  
_Pain, I can't get enough_  
_Pain, I like it rough_  
_'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all._  
_Pain, Three Days Grace_

The late afternoon sun filtered down on me from it's place just above the horizon as I passed through the monastery courtyard. I could hear the clash of steel as the initiates trained under the watchful eyes of the senior Templars. I kept to the central pathway, keeping my hood up and my head down. If I was recognized here I doubt that I would receive an understanding welcome.

"Keep your footing! You must think on your feet every moment of battle. A heretic won't hesitate to cut you down If you give them an opening!"

I froze at the sound of the commander's voice. My mind unwilling summoning the memories that I could never forget.

_She is not a demon, Knight-Commander! That's just a child, one who just lost her parents!_

I turned towards the voice still dazed by the sudden flashback.

"Ser Canan?" I breathed just before an armored body collided with my back sending me to the ground.

I twisted mid air to land on my back so I wouldn't shatter my knee on impact. The initiate that ran into me wasn't as lucky and landed next to me face first in the dirt. He shook his head to clear it and began to pick himself up.

"Watch where you're going you-" He cut off mid sentence and stared at me wide-eyed.

I fought the urge to curse, my hood had fallen back because of my mid-air dynamics. I couldn't afford to be recognized, not when I was so close.

"You!" he scrambled to his feet, backing away from me with a look of absolute terror on his face. "I know you!"

"Venhedis" I growled getting to my feet. So much for avoiding a fight. A deadly hush had fallen over the yard, all eyes were on us.

"Don't you recognize her?" He glanced around the yard wildly "She's-"

"She's the woman that you just knocked to the ground Roron," The voice that had dazed me just moments ago cut in. "Or do you believe yourself above common courtesy?"

Roron jumped and glanced behind me only to drop his gaze. "No Knight-Commander."

I turned to look behind me, eye's wide in surprise. "Knight-Commander?" I whispered.

Sure enough there he was dressed in the Knight-Commander's plate, with the Knight-Captain a step behind him. He had come far from the title of Knight-Lieutenant that he held when I was born.

The Knight-Captain sentenced Ronon to 50 laps for potential endangerment of a bystander as the yard shifted it's focus away from us and back to their drills. I took a slow breath, this could have gotten very ugly very fast. You can't pull your punches when you're outnumbered 50 to 1. I don't like to kill people when they only attack me out of fear. Hate, on the other hand, is a completely different matter.

_"Fear might make us capable of anything, but hate can make us lose everything. Who knows that better than me?"_ I thought grimly as Ser Canan approached me.

"I apologize for my men's lack of conduct, Mylady. I hope you were not injured in the collision."

I glanced down at my now slightly scuffed armor. "No harm done," I glanced back up at him grinning slightly despite the circumstances. "Though i'm not sure what i've done to earn the title of 'Lady'."

He tilted his head towards me, "I still recognize the nobility of your family, though many have chosen to forget."

The air seemed to grow heavy as memories began to weighed us down.

"There's not many of us left." I murmured.

He sighed. "No there aren't, and Thedas hasn't suffered a worst injustice since the words of Andraste were twisted to promote slavery and abuse."

I blinked in surprise. I hadn't expected that type of reasoning from a Templar, let alone a Knight-Commander.

He smiled grimly at my surprise. "After watching what Ser Baxter did to the Mages he captured, and what he almost did to you. He proclaimed it was all in the Makers name. I couldn't continue serving an order that condoned the slaughter of innocents and children, but I couldn't bring myself to stand by and do nothing while people suffered. SO when I became Knight-Commander I changed the mandate, every Templar here fights for the true word of Andraste."

I gave him a wary look. This seemed too good to be true. "So you don't hunt Mages?"

He seem unsurprised at my skepticism. "We still hunt Maleficar, but not as those heretics do, killing every mage in sight. We reached out to the College of Enchanters and asked for a way to detect Blood magic. They not only gave it to us but also sent the locations of blood mage cults in the Free Marches, we have taken their side in the Mage-Templar War. They deserve the freedom Andraste fought and died for, not to be wrongly enslaved in her name."

I looked over at Roron who was still doing laps and brushed some hair out of my face that had gotten loose from my hair tie when I fell. "I doubt that it's that simple, given Roron's... spirited reaction to me."

He nodded "If I hadn't stopped him from revealing your identity the others would have attacked. If you had been recognized by anyone else they might have tried to apprehend you. You're still the champion's daughter, they'll think you've come for revenge."

I gave him a neutral look. "Don't you?"

He looked down the path that led to the Palace. "I couldn't stop you even if I wanted to." He said and simply turned and walked back towards the monastery.

_That makes two souls drowning in sorrow and regret._ A voice in the back of my head said. _Doesn't matter the reason, they're in just as much pain as you are and are trying to make it right. This isn't what you expected is it?_

I sighed and jerked my hood back up, no this isn't what expected at all. I never even thought I would make it past the gates, let alone be recognized twice and walk away with nothing sort of an all out massacre. I never thought about how my parents death would affect those who had a hand in it.

_Not exactly the conquers reveling in their victory that you thought they'd be, huh?_

I gritted my teeth and started towards the palace. This is the last thing I needed right now.

_You marching right into enemy territory where no one can risk following you might have something to do with it._

A growl escaped my clenched teeth before I could stop it, how can a disembodied voice sound so damn smug? I shook my head to refocus, I didn't have time to get distracted. Losing my head wouldn't get me anywhere. The plan was simple; get in, find Sebastian, get the documents, and get out before the guards come.

_And you're still going to confront him? What happened to keeping a level-head?_

_"I need those documents."_ I thought in my defense, never mind that I was arguing with myself.

_Then why not just sneak in? All you have to do is break into his office._

_"How would I know If what I found was what I was looking for? I need to go straight to the source."_

_So your plan is to march right up to the ruling monarch and demand answers?!_

_"Well when you put it that way."_ I grumbled as I avoided a guard patrol, slipping through the crowded main gate and into the palace.

_You're avoiding the subject. Face it, you just want to kill him._

I stopped dead in my tracks only to be buffered along by the rest of the crowd.

_"So what if I do?"_ I snarled. _"That bastard orphaned me! Why shouldn't I want him dead?"_

_Because if he dies by your hand how would that make you any different!?_

I jerked to a stop, just managing to keep my balance as those words ricocheted around in my skull. I leaned against a pillar trying to think past the blood pounding in my ears.

_Justice, closure, revenge even? No, you want blood._

_"I'm NOTHING like him"_

_Then prove it._

_"Shut-up."_ I snapped as I stalked toward the throne room.

I was going to end this.

**And Maker help anyone who got in my way.**


End file.
